Monday, January 29, 2007

Impermanence

Last night, Taiwanese rising TV idol 許瑋倫 was killed by a car accident at the age of 28. I can't even recognize her face yet before she left our world.
Last Wednesday on my way home from dinner, I coincidentally met a long lost friend. He is my college classmate and serves his military service in Taipei. We used to be quite close; we travelled to France, Spain, and 宜蘭 together. However, due to inexplicable differences between our personality, we were away from each other later. But what an amusing surprise to see him again!
Last last Wednesday my big brother's first boy was just born. Wow, I turn out to be a cousin. I'm so proud of myself to be it!
In the end of last year, one couple in my collage days broke up, to everybody's surprise. They are both good persons. They both deserve not to be hurt. The boy serves his military service now, the girl works in the hospital as a resident pediatrician, and that's probably why the girl dumps the boy for such a giant gap in their living situation. I feel deeply sorry and great sympathy for the boy. I know how lonely, sorrowful, and helpless life is in the troops, not to mention being "deserted" and "not understood" inside there by someone who used to be that familiar and close.
Yesterday I finished reading the Chinese novel classic, 未央歌, An Unfinished Song. The context is rather lengthy with redundant descriptions of scenery and philosophical thoughts and talks to himself. In spite the over romantic dreamy style of the novel is absolutely not my favour, I need to admit this book arouses my nostalgia of college life. In this book, each character is innocent and good-hearted enjoying their brilliant and colorful youth, which reminds me of my past. I owned all of it while I didn't notice or cherish it. I was young and weak and proud. I am away from that farther and farther.

During last weekend I took a walk in 明志 university of technology. This school consists mainly of boys. Wandering in the campus, I was preoccupied with the atmosphere of young guy's boldness, energy, manhood, being naive and blooming, which I had and I was surrounded with, and which I no longer possess. I enjoy the air so much, while simultaneously I cannot but be jealous of those young men. I just cannot be resigned to the truth. This ain't an unfinished song. It's finished already. I am searching an unfailing spring; I am expecting an immortal promise. But sweet dreams are fragile, beautiful countenances are fading, and we turn out weeping farewell to our lovers, to my past.

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