Bad Boy

真的很酷，blogger終於支援播放影片功能了。我就把我在無名的影片搬來這裡囉~紀念那段特別的日子，啊~ 思念是ㄧ種病...........

Love Transfer

Wander in numerous street windows, glimpse at countless passers-by, I meditate on what role love plays to my life. Love past by, memory left behind, it is untouchable moonlight that vanished into darkness when I'm to grasp. Romance is a relay race, in which approaching brings anticipation that brings disappointment that brings a vicious circle of despair. But love seekers still transfer one's warmth into another's chest, and reflect next dream out of last mistake. Rings are exchanged, oaths are made, remembrance is buried, regret is whispered; we are all the same as each other.Lovers suffer many worries and fears, and learn to object being an innocent criminal of love. They burn out their youth in exchange of a mate. Beds of them are covered with roses which grow up as making love; only to sprawl to others' soil if over-occupied and spilled. Seasos change, affection mutates. If love is a non-stop train, then how many guts does it take to reach the destination of immortality?

The Most Beautiful Specialist In The Executive Yuan

Vanessa, the most beautiful specialist in the Executive Yuan, as you can tell from the photos below. We became friends in one trip to visit and inquire the mental health institutions in Tainan City and County. During that trip, she impressed me not only by her fashion and elegance, but for her competence and smartness. She describes herself that, she has a typical type A personality-- pushes and hurries for the best and perfect.

After that trip, Vanessa invited me to her home. Amazing fabulous! The design of her home is so delicate and full of humanity that makes living inside like a princess, full of happiness and content. She told me her husband is an architect studied abroad in America. Perfect match I told myself. But sometimes Vanessa is worried, or a little bit upset, she said. She has a high position in the Bureau Of Medical Affairs, Department Of Health, and she has much pressure and loading from her job. She said sometimes she admires we clinical workers; though our work type is routine and hard, time-consuming and labor-taking, we are really free when our work time is off. They governmental officers don't. Their responsibilities and burdens accompany with their positions and titles, the higher, the heavier, from office to home, no duty holidays. We clinical workers confront the patients and their families' complaints and criticism; they face the heads', even more creepy-crawly.
Vanessa told me, we always complain what we're engaged in and admire what others are doing. It's like drinking a glass of water. Only the one who drinks knows it's hot or cold. Others can only be guessing. Cannot agree more. That's me. I'm very good at reproaching and censuring, making many of my acquaintances suppose my life is filled with sorrow. Actually not that bad. I'm just used to exaggerating my bad thoughts inside. Anyhow, facing up with life really takes a lot of courage and determination. However, I think I 'm lucky. I meet with and get to know a lot of persons. They demonstrate to me to take out the courage, to unveil your determination. They exemplify to me, life is beautiful, is worth appreciating. and takes some contemplation and pondering. Beautiful figure, beautiful mind, Vanessa.

Boy Twelve: Chinmen Wonder Boy

The only time I visited Chinmen so far goes back when I'm in high school. Most details I've forgotten. The cabbage were crispy, the wall left enormous shot hole son it. Young and brilliant were the soldiers who made the Chinmen so masculine in my adolescent mind.

Afterwards, I didn't meet any person from Chinmen, until in my last days staying the Bureau Of Medical Affairs. I met No. Twelve, WaterBoy, my fellow worker. He names himself WaterBoy, but as a matter of fact, I've been thinking he is a Wonder Boy: tall, strong, one girl friend record. Frankly, he doesn't impress me much at the first sight. But I got to know him little by little as time went by from himself and mostly others. He had excellent grades in college. His basketball team in college used to be formidable. He is out-going and easy-going, plays the archery and climbs mountains higher than 3000 m after work. Sounds cool, right? Besides, he is tender and polite. Reviewing his blog you can see many positive messages, in contrast to my eccentric aberrant murmuring. Worthy of the name, Wonder Boy. However, Wonder makes me wonder. Once he told me, he felt lonely about being alone, after ending a 6-year romance in one year. I was stunned by his saying. Come on, I suppose his life is fantastic, which is not false yet. So many extracurricular activities; think about it, how many Taiwanese men will play archery after work? (Jesus Christ. We are only indulged in KTV and marijuana.) Especially men like him-- no defence, probably prejudice, but in my recognition, or to a certain degree misunderstanding, such kind of bold dude, school team superstar, highly educated Prince Charming, always enjoy their life at their will being promiscuous/popular, arrogant/confident, epicurean/playful. I can't believe he has worries, not to mention worries of loneliness.

The only explanation I guess is, that's the Chinmen style. I see inside the masculine trunk hides feminine sensitivity. That's the way Chinmen goes. Lovely. Anyway, Wonder is really tortured for haven't found a Destiny's Child. As we all agree, it's not at all a problem; such kind of boy is roast mutton on the grasslands, gulped down sooner or later. Even so, it's still cool at young one senses lonesome and feels tortures. Just has to feel, feel real love, real sorrow, real vacuum, real pain. Make a boy like a man. So, go go Chinmen boy!

P.S. Chinmen, 金門, an islet of Taiwan, in the Strait Of Taiwan, between Island of Taiwan and Mainland China

Evolutional Metamorphosis

Grow up, mature, be stronger. I want to be a better man. I endeavor to try and try.

To be honest in shame, I never adapt myself to the living reality, though I pretend to. Throughout allocations these years, I waste much time complaining, murmuring, seeking and end, and indulging myself in missing good old days, which were not truly good, which used to be disgracefully compared to the even-older days. Moreover, I fail to sustain a long-term in-depth relationship with people. I'm changeable, usually in emotional roller-coaster, only to make people around me offended and puzzled.

Nevertheless, if so, then why do I shed tears when farewell to old units, old colleagues, and acquaintances? What recalls my nostalgia, what makes me reluctant to leave? There must be something sweet or some parts touching in the bad new days.

There are times, people compliment me on being unique, courageous, and clinging to my true colors. They say successful people are such because they cling to their principle. It's paradoxical. Most people are not doing their likes. There ain't so many likes available. Most barely try to make a living, including me. What's being flexible, what's being changeable, there is a thin line in between. Anyway, anyhow, I'm tired of regretting, feeling sorry to the left, having vague illusion of the coming days. Cherish what I own, before it's too late.

Boy Eleven: Ordinary Personality In Extraordinary Look

Just like all daydreams, which will wake up eventually. He has an outstanding contour and facial features, more than a super star. He is tall, he is strong. When he smiles, I see the ceiling grow the roses creeping and crawling all along the office; if he were to frown, the sun would fall. Then the globe's catastrophe come.

Not to mention he is from one of the world's most fantastic metropolis, receives the highest education, owns the highest title, and has the most admirable profession. His future is more than promising after the substitute service. His existence irritates the gods' pride and flushes the goddesses' cheeks. He proves the divine creative force's masterpiece and wisdom. He is more than amazing. Invincible, impeccable, incredible, irresistible, before we met in the lift.

He replied to one colleague civil serviceman murmuring about the present work and rules. Like a puppy. He sticked to his cellphone before and after taking the lift. Not the first time. Probably romance. His put his lower hem of the shirt outside the jeans. Very much his style.

He reminds me, handsome dudes eat and sleep, too.

Boy Interrupted

Since I entered school, whenever there was speical occasion, I was asked or possibly said invited to do a dance or singing show in the party. Though I looked shy and behaved awkwardly in the daily time, which is by far not the style that could go onto the stage, when I was pushed for it, I transformed myself into an out-and-out jerk, and, a joke. It was like on drugs, or caught by a ghost, or letting another me in my recess of heart out. After performance, I saw people laugh, I heard applause, but I forgot what I just had done. There were times the audience sent me my performance document or record. You know what? I could not stand myself watching it for more than 5 seconds, after a surge without origin of disgust came up and suffocated my breath, compelling me to flip my finger to close the window on the computer. Til now still, I resist that me. You can't freak yourself to get any good in most time of our true life.

Anyway, last night's dinner party by the Bureau Of Medical Affairs was really fun. I freaked myself again. Besides, we had an activity to draw lots for prizes. The lady colleagues at my table were incredibly crazy and eager for winning it. When their names was called by the lot-drawer, these ladies at their 30~40s burst out laughing without any concealing; when they were not called, the expression of disappointment soon emerged on their face with screams and blames and shouts. It was so fun for them being so true of themselves. My previous experience was totally different in the hospital's year-end party. We did the same lot drawing. I remembered after I didn't win any prize, I whined and moaned with pity and jealousy. My colleagues at my table frowned at me as if I should have kept cool since losing prizes was no big deal at all. Yeah, I know, pretentious people were bores. To be well-mannered doesn't mean to be pretentious, and rudeness is not frankness. We sometimes are just enthusiastic about living and fun and we are eager for emancipation from year-by-year's routines.

Boy Four: He Sells Estee Lauder Cosmetics

Don't be surprised that AnnLee is a boy, though he sold Estee Lauder cosmetics in the department store.

AnnLee is two years younger than me; however, he entered the military system half a year earlier. After entering the Department Of Health, he works in the section which I did in the Bureau Of Medical Affairs. That's how I get to be familiar with him. And of course you can say he is my senior in the military service field. He helped me a lot actually. Not until I left his section did I realize this. From the first day I arrived, he had been friendly to me. He introduced me to other senior colleagues actively and acquainted me with the new environment, rendering me less alienated. This kind of thing is not a routine. I remembered in my hospital days when I took turns working in every different department, the old staff did not give us newcoming doctor a glimpse at all. Not to mention teaching how to survive an inexperienced condition. People were always callous; they'd rather see you fault and fall than spend time on a stranger. You see why AnnLee was distinctly favourable to me.

The reason I said I was late to appreciate AnnLee's favours is because I wasn't too contently happy in that section at that moment. I mentioned that my job was mostly like an office boy running errands others were reluctant to do. That's what we civil servicemen were for truthfully speaking. Knowing I was sort of embarrassingly unwilling, AnnLee shared the giant most of our work in common. Then I was even more embarrassed. Sounds funny. A 2-year-younger brother is more matured and understanding than I am. I don't infer AnLee is a strictly-behaved boy responsible for his missions or something. On the contrary, he more likely worships and carries hedonism. He smokes, bought LV bags for himself and his new girlfriend, played some tricks to enjoy a workday off, etc. But in spite of these tolerable flaws, when you have business to deal with him, you can find him communicable and reliable.

One month after I worked with AnnLee, I heard from colleagues that he was a salesman in the department store in 新竹 before his military service. He sold Estee Lauder cosmetics. He told me he hugely raised the sales on behalf of his spot. He impressed his boss very much and hence preserved himself a job after his military service. That isn't easy, especially in this time when good jobs are difficult to find at his so young age without distinguished academic records or background.

Yesterday I played some tennis with AnnLee. He was totally fresh, and did quite a few amazing shots though. His quick grasp of strokes reminds me of another boy in my school who played one month tennis with me, later on drifted apart from me and became a stranger to me. On the court last night, I had a talk with AnnLee. He was indeed eloquent and had a playful personality; no wonder he could qualify his salesman job. We shared some ideas about investments and future career. I was impressed by him; I know I knew nothing at all about life and the world at his age. Compared to the suppressive and over-self-esteemed Boy Three JayDavid, AnnLee is more convincing to me he can fit in a brilliant salesman career.