Happy Birthday To You

Dear Brother:

Happy birthday to you. Days go by fast. We spend our last and ever four seasons together. Our worlds are different. Fortunately, it doesn't take the same propensity and disposition to establish brotherhood. On the contrary, our discrepancy is our life's flavour.

Recently, I start to reflect what these days bring to me. There was a time, which was not long ago, when I felt dejected and dissatisfied about my countenance, my height, my talent, my conduct, my grades, my character, my everything. This attitude lasted for numerous years; the life wasn't easy. However, somebody reminded me of Marcel Proust, the great author of the giant fiction, "Remembrance Of Things Past." Proust, an out-and-out loser when he was alive, an author who wrote books that no one admired at that time, had been lonesome all his life being a gay. He always had an unspoken crush at somebody, rather silly, kind of funny. However, in his last days, when he reviewed his life, he was astonished to discover that those ever happy moments were too insipid to memorize; in contrast, it was those periods of hardship and sorrow that made him transform into a better man. Til now, I still regard myself unattractive, sissy, and poorly accomplished. Nevertheless, I've learned to embrace my imperfection. I know it's the wretchedness rather than smoothness that makes every individual life so special. It's heart-broken romance; I take it, and enjoy it.

And you, my brother, how have you been in these days? Your smile is the twinkling star in the sky, sometimes shining, sometimes vanished. A switch lives in you: in time to fight, you'll turn it on at one fling. But now here, I have some sentiments to share with you. As I told you before, your being is a masterpiece of god. Your captivating eyes, engaging smile, manly beauty, lovely soul, all witness god's amazing grace. Please don't sacrifice your health and joy of life in pursuit of success, since yourself has been a success already. The times can fluctuate, may influence your reserve in the banks and funds; the boss may determine your salary and change your position. But dear you are the success that no one can take away or militate against. Others might criticize what you do, look down on you, ignore your subsistence, but unimportant figures and words can by no means leave any shadow in your journey of life. Think of your family, girlfriend, and uncountable fans including me. They all esteem and adore you for being you, not what you have, nor where you're from. Hence, to cherish yourself is to respect those who love you. Don't bear too many burdens. Relax yourself, have some richer foods, and enjoy more moments with your family and beloved.

"Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you, happy birthday to Kobe, happy birthday to you." I softly chant this song, brother. If you hum and wave hands at me, then whichever corner you are at, I can find you for ever and sure. If one day I am too old to sing and dance, I will still dedicate my sincerest smile to you. Happy Birthday.

Smooches

Little Brother, Oscar

"See Happiness" Concert

I went to the concert of two adult contemporary divas last Saturday. Song by song, all love songs, I saw love, I heard songs.

"At such a night, on such a busy street, who do you miss to frown your brows? All my joys and sorrows fly with you, whose tears wiped and wet again, the one in your mind in doubt."

At the interval of songs, the singer shared with us some of her reflectis about love. She said, before we reach the destination of happiness, we carry a lot of things, some of which has to be parted with, or the cargo will be too heavy to go on. So, let go of what doesn't belong to you. Best wishes for the ex-lovers, thank them for spending those ever happy moments with us, then, let bygones be bygones. We all need to set for different places and reach for seperate sweet dreams.

Goodbye, my loves.

Long Time No See

I came from a city being alone, to the place having you. Your appearance in my life is a miracle, and how innocent I was if I were to retain this miracle for perpetuity. Now I leave the city alone again; you're still the one, and my world is changed.

Imagine in the upcoming days, how much I will desire to see you again, to see how you live your life without me around. You will appear all of a sudden in the coffee shop around the block; I will wave at you with a smile, shake your hands, sit and talk to you, as if we've done so many days. We may be excited at what each other is engaged in at present, instead of recalling what we've done together in the past. Or I will watch the screen having you on my computer, frown my brows, shed my tears, noting down every sentiment about you.

Time still ticks away. If this May doesn't go away, then the plum rains won't end. Who don't expect to have more reunions and fewer departures, but the world has its principle to revolve. To sail to the other side of the shore, not too many things I can carry. Disregarding what I lost, I ask myself, have I ever loved, have I ever possessed?

Not Lost, Just Undiscovered

Life is charming. It's a flower, so precious in my hands, and I keep on smiling, so the world will smile with me.

Recently I lead a content life. It doesn't mean everything is OK. Just don't know why, I carry a merry mood. Is it a metamorphosis? Well, some things uncomfortable happened to me still. For example, the deputy superintendent has been requiring me to write a lot of notes. I don't bother to do that, for I thin I'm only paid NT8000 per month. And on contrast, my classmates, who skip the military service, have the payments of nearly NT10,000 doing quite the similar things as I do. So gross. And what can I say? Shall I be that cheap simply because I'm serving the obligatory service? Don't I deserve more?

Just small tiny complaints, proving that I don't really lead a perfect life. So what makes me easy? One reason I guess is because the pressure and loading is low, no need to please the supervisor, no need to follow the rules. You know, since the hospital doesn't pay me, I don't care how they feel about me. Nevertheless I don't practice sloth, I'm not evading the duty, I still offer reasonable and sensible medical care to my 20 patients. Yeah, twenty. The bullying boss can't ask more, can him?

What's more, I've been lucky. To serve the military service can be an unfortunate beginning. Compared to my peers who skip the service, I lost at least one million NT dollars this year. Sounds like a guiltless punishment, right? However, I turn setbacks into advantages to me. During the process, from the Victory Hill, Bureau Of Medical Affairs, Bureau Of International Cooperation, 樂生 Sanatorium, to upcoming 恆春 hospital, I feel different worlds I never expected I would know, and meet a lot of fun people, who open up my eyes, induce me to be sophisticated, and inspire me to be truthful to myself. I need to confess that, there are good times and of course bad times; the later more often than the former. That's life. Unavoidable. However, it's a bittersweet symphony. I make the best from it, strive for my own, and enjoy the as most as possible of life, which is one way navigation: once you get on board, say goodbye 'cause you can't go back. No regrets.

Therefore, in the end, the last but not the least, I must dedicate my enormous thanks to people who render me this lucky. That's my fellow workers in my going this long way. As you can see in the photos below, and others appearing in any entry of mine, these people are so amusing and have a signature look and character. For sure, not all the times we reached palatable agreements when we were together; as I said, the bad accompanied the good. But friends are not meant to be perfect to oneself. To me, they occupy a splendid moment of my life. They are unforgettable figures who make my life shine, make me lucky, make me smile, and make me realize that life is charming and so precious in my hands, and I'll keep on smiling, so the world will smile with me.

My readers, my lovers, please keep on putting your faith in me and supporting this blog. Sometimes its seems I disappear. No, no, I'm not lost, not even over, just undiscovered. You'll see.

Hello

Yeah, last two weeks I moved to a new place for a new job. 樂生 sanatorium。My work is too busy and the internet is not available; therefore, there has been some time since the last time I expressed my feelings on this site.

Honestly, my new job is, ah, fucking unreasonably pathetic. I hate this condition. I don't want to waste too much complaining here now. I'm trying figuring out whether it's my problem or the hospital's, and wondering if I shall strive for what's unfair to me or succumb and take it as part of real life.

Anyway, what's most imperative to me at present is send a message to all my blog's readers. Thanks for still visiting me, waiting to hear from me, and showing your curiosity about my latest condition. Love you, my girls and boys. Smooches. Please don't give me up. I'll seek any opportunity to add my funny stories of life as soon as possible.

By the way, I don't want to be taken advantage of. I want my good will appreciated; however, in the callous world of atrocities, this is not the case. Some people step on me for his convenience. I can't accept this. Nevertheless, if I criticize and stand against it, if I gain what I want by conflicting with others, will the result eventually do good to me? Endeavor for my own good or put up with it for peace? That's what confuses me now.